The Argylephile

Awesome.

2009-02-11T23:23:00.002-05:00

I almost died when I saw this. Awesome.

An Open Letter to Coors

2008-10-01T23:49:00.003-04:00

Dear Coors Brewing Company,

While I appreciate your strive for innovation in modern beer labels, I do not appreciate these new color-changing papers affixed to your bottles. The labels on the new bottles turn blue when the beer is iced cold to perfection. Question: wouldn't someone know if their beer was cold just by the sheer movement of their finger over the bottle?

Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that you finally realize your demographic of drunken, lazy, beer-guzzling frat boys, but if you could give the people of the US who are educated any credit, it would be much appreciated. Seriously, you need a label to tell you when your beer is cold? Perhaps the die-hard drinkers of your Rocky Mountain refreshment are the same people who take the elevator to the second floor and buy mini-vans whose doors close with the push of a button. So in conclusion, thank you Coors Brewing Company for making Americans that much more lazy.

Drive-by Service

2008-10-01T23:26:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I was at one of the local watering holes that I frequent a few weeks ago and had an encounter of what I like to call, "Drive-by Service". It's like I was just bombarded with the stink eye when in fact I actually need you to slow down and act like you enjoy your job. So here's the deal: the waitress is practically running by (perhaps she needed to use the bathroom), glances at our table and utters the words, "Are you okay?" Well, waitress, I am not okay. My vodka tonic is almost empty and I apologize that I cannot possibly empty your bladder, but you need to do your job and get me another vodka tonic... pronto.

I think that maybe there is a lack of motivation, and perhaps more importantly, realization that you are, in fact, a waitress. Your job is to act like you care about your patrons and to service them and their beverage needs. If you're not happy at your job, please accept my lousy tip as inspiration that perhaps you should seek other employment opportunities.

The Environment and Sustainability

2008-06-08T23:13:00.006-04:00

So lately it seems that everyone has been talking about "going green," which I am okay with as long as your not hypocritical about it. Recently I received an offer to join the Sierra Club in the mail. I assume this is because I am a member of the Greenways Foundation. If you're not familiar with them, the Sierra Club states the following on their website:

"The Sierra Club's members and supporters are more than 1.3 million of your friends and neighbors. Inspired by nature, we work together to protect our communities and the planet. The Club is America's oldest, largest and most influential grassroots environmental organization."

The package, which was contained to a standard #10 envelope, included eight different pieces of paper along with another envelope, two calendars to affix to my PC keyboard and a vinyl sticker. Am I crazy or does this seem excessive for an organization who claims to care so much about the environment? Perhaps the Sierra Club needs to enlist the services of a skilled graphic designer who can condense their message to less than eight separate pieces of paper, most of which I guess ends up in the trash anyway. If you really want to save the planet stop sending so much stuff to people who probably don't care.

The other example that really irks me is the lady from Ford Motor Company who states that "going green" isn't just about better gas mileage but that it's also about sustainability. Ford sold more cars in 2006 (902,000) than they have in the past six years. So what happens to all of those 902,000 cars that needed to be "replaced"? If Ford is so concerned with sustainability why don't they encourage people to repair their cars instead of letting them go to junkyards? If all car production stopped, not just at Ford but with all auto makers, how long do you think it would be before we actually needed new cars again? A car is probably the largest item that an American disposes of, so why isn't there a way to make them last longer and make Americans believe that they don't really need that new Explorer or F-150 (both 20 mpg)?

Automation

2008-05-05T22:04:00.009-04:00

This week I have been extremely bothered by all things automated. Frustrated with the time it takes for a door to open and trying to figure out which way it will open (thank you Linens n Things) I started to get peeved about all of the simple tasks which are now automatic.

For instance, I am terribly disappointed every time I enter a restroom with toilets that flush when they think I am done. It's almost like the toilet thinks it's smarter than I am. How does it know when I'm finished? In some instances the toilet will flush twice simply because you are standing there in front of it buttoning your pants. This is a total waste of water and irks me to no end. And as far as germs are concerned, in my life I have never flushed a public toilet with my hand...always with my foot. And how about car doors that are closing with just the push of a button, because we all know that pulling the door shut is such an exhausting task. It's almost as though engineers come up with these things to prove they can and to make Americans that much lazier.

So now for something I am so in love with...Xcelerator hand dryers. I am so thrilled every time I encounter one of these. First and foremost your hands feel great when you finish using them and they aren't set on a timer; they have a sensor so it's not using power after your hands are already dry. Love it! And not to mention how much wasted paper towel they save. Not only does it conserve energy (it uses 80% less energy than conventional hand dryers) and save waste, but it has a 90% cost savings vs. paper towels. So thank you to all of the establishments in my lovely metropolis who use them. Kudos!

P.S. I was no way endorsed by the folks at Xcelerator for writing this, even though it would be nice to get a kick back.

P.P.S. I just realized today how much the elevators in my office building annoy me. Why does the"Close Door" button exist if it doesn't work?

Much Repartee About Argyle

2008-04-28T21:46:00.010-04:00

So my name for the blog and my affinity for argyle has become the topic of much banter with my friends recently. After discussing argyle with a few people, we have made interesting new words all relating to argyle, each with their own distinction. Thanks to Bob, Jeremy, Whitney, Nicole & Joel (the Oles) for helping with the following post. And if anyone else has come up with some more clever words having to do with argyle I would love to hear them.

Medieval Argyle: Gargyle

Pirate Argyle: Arrrgyle

Surfer Argyle: Gnargyle

Argyle across the Room: Fargyle

Golfer Argyle: Pargyle

BBQ Argyle: Chargyle

Celebrity Argyle: Stargyle

Boxing Argyle: Spargyle

Al Pacino in Argyle: Scargyle

Russian Argyle: Czargyle

Drunken Argyle: Bargyle

Chinese Argyle: Sargyle

Argyle on a Vehicle: Cargyle

Detracting Argyle: Margyle

Van Gogh in Argyle: Artgyle

Mythological Argyle: Minotaurgyle

Jimi Hendrix in Argyle: Guitargyle

Ravi Shankar in Argyle: Sitargyle

Deep Sea Argyle: Sonargyle

Strange Argyle: Bizargyle

CocoYalo Argyle: Sparkyle

Quantification

2008-04-12T15:58:00.005-04:00

So after last week's quantifying experience, I have decided to take inventory of other items in my life. Here goes:

Books on my shelf: 63

CDs in my sight: 52

Mp3s on my iPod: 3,207

Packages of cheese in the fridge: 3

Miles on my car: 158,354

Cream Cheese & Chive Wheat Thins I've eaten this week: WAY too many

Restaurants I've visited this week: 8

Utensils in my kitchen: 15

Bobby pins in my hair from last week's fashion show: 59

Books I've finished in last six weeks: 3

Plastic cups from Mug n' Bun when you order the BIG root beer: 6

Items in my shower: 11

Pairs of "nice" jeans: 5

Boxes of mac n' cheese in the pantry: 1

Lamps I own: 2

Now I'm not really sure what this was supposed to do for me, I was just curious about things that I don't really ever think about. Why do I have all this stuff? How did it all accumulate in my apartment? And most importantly, how many extra movers will I need when I move?

My Long-time Love Affair: Shoes

2008-04-05T14:07:00.004-04:00

After toting around several pairs of shoes this week to Project IMA dress rehearsals, an appearance on Fox 59 and dress fittings, I started wondering just how many pairs of shoes took up residence in my closet. The answer: 41. Now I realize that I own many, many pairs of shoes but this information was a little startling to even me.

Forty-one times I have wondered into the plethora of independent shoe stores and boutiques, perused zappos.com and I think that by now everyone at the Nordstom shoe department knows me. And these were purchases. How many times have I gone in somewhere, tried on shoes and not bought them? This is a time-consuming love affair that has haunted me (and my wallet) for years.

Clogs, flip-flops, pumps, sandals, boots, athletic, casual: these are categories that are filled by the thirty-nine pairs (who should be paying me rent) in my closet. What boggles my mind is the lack of certain types of shoes. I own no platforms, cowboy boots or loafers (strike loafers, see below). Furthermore, the omission of espadrilles, spectators and wedges is somewhat frightening.

I do own 6 pairs of black pumps though, two of which are patent leather, three of which are peep toes, two of which are mary janes, one of which is crocodile. One pair of green patent pumps, one pair knee-high flat leather boots, one pair wool plaid clogs and one pair of classic Birkenstock sandals, which no closet should be without, are just a few of the other shoes living with me.

A man just last night asked me if shoes really are the first thing a woman looks at on a man (he was commenting on my black patent peep toe pumps). I don't know how true this is of other women, but it is definitely true for me. In my opinion, shoes are the most important part of any outfit, regardless of your sex. They are the first thing I notice on a man or woman and one's taste in shoes says a lot about their personality.

Some shoes let me know that the person exhibiting such shoes doesn't really care about how they look and that they have no style. Other shoes try way too hard and some shoes are right on the money. Now finding shoes that are as close to perfect as you can get can be a daunting task. Sometimes you search for hours and sometimes you get lucky at the first store. Personally, I find it best to haphazardly search for shoes. It's less stressful and chances are you're going to find some great shoes.

The latest addition: yellow patent leather loafers...yum.